the gifts of shyness

I want to embrace what it means to be shy and explore what it has taught me…

Shyness has taught me to listen –

really, truly listen.


Present and engaged.

It’s the kind of listening that is work.  Active.  Committed.

I tune in so deeply I can feel someone’s pain…. someone’s joy.

You know the saying, “…walking in someone’s shoes”…   I’ve walked around in lots of pairs.

When you’re shy, you don’t want to be put on the spot.  You don’t want to have to talk very much, especially in front of a big group of people. So…

Shyness has taught me to ask juicy questions.  To be a good listener you need to know the deep, open-ended questions so that you can keep on listening, and not have to talk very much.

Good questioning is key.

And, shyness has taught me that pretty much everyone loves a good listener.  Even fellow shy friends will talk… it’s magic.

If you’re the listener, you learn to guide the depth of conversation.   I like it deep and meaningful.  Authentic.  Raw.  Vulnerable.  Open.  Stories.  Details. Emotion.  Variety is important. The right questions veer you where you want to go.

Listening and effective questioning is an art form.  And, shyness has taught me well.

It’s taught me how to party and how to have an intimate coffee with a friend.

It’s taught me…

To garden. To dance. do yoga. Bake. Cook. Doodle.  Meditate.  Read.  Evolve.  Learn. Write in countless journals.  Write notes.  Connect with teens and children.  Soothe a baby.  Doodle.  Blog.  Play the piano.  Make art.  Play artistically and creatively. And, play with clothes and outfits…

because when you’re shy you have to feel comfortable in the clothes you’re wearing or this adds another layer of fear factor into the day…  It’s the feeling like you’ve forgotten to put on a pair of pants over your panties.

 Exposure is death to the shy. 

It is to be avoided at all costs.

And, what I’m learning, as I explore shyness, is that all of what shyness has taught me originated from avoidance – avoidance of exposure.

Wow.  That’s a whole other topic.

I’ll save that for another day.

I want to sit amidst a sea of gratitude.

Thank you shyness… for teaching me all of the above (even if the intent was to avoid exposure).

And, please share a comment below.  What has shyness taught you?

In wild blossom spirit,



2 responses to “the gifts of shyness”

  1. Love reading your work Gillian xoxo


    1. thank you for reading, Jenn! big, big hugs… xoxo


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