Note: My oldest son made this canvas at school. He had it up on his wall for years. Free time is so special. I’m so privileged to have any free time at all: breaks, trips, time at home. Here’s my honest Sunday reflection, today.
It’s the last Sunday before school starts, after Spring Break.
I feel the collective angst of students and staff. Change is coming: new routines, loss of free time, preparing lessons, making lunches, prepping clothes to wear, rushing coffee, running out the door, meetings, fitting in appointments.
A frenetic whirlwind looming, from an expansive, peaceful holiday sky.
There’s no denying that I feel the angst, no matter how hard I try to distract myself. The underlying question, “how will I do this?” I want to resist it. I don’t like this feeling.
I feel time shrinking from the expanse of days to a patch work of structure. It feels like moving into desert from oasis. I feel thirsty already.
The in-betweens. The rushing and pressures.
“Stay in the moment,” I tell myself. It’s still Sunday.
The anxiety works hard to pull me out of it.
Change is coming; neither good nor bad.
I’m feeling it. The truth is I will start work tomorrow. I need to focus on what brings me joy, instead of the feeling of loss.
I work at it.
I’m so grateful for this time. I notice all that I’ve had. I think about the students, and staff, and re-connecting.
The feeling of loss shifts to love and possibility.
I can feel the connection. The angst lingers in the background. Shrinking.
I continue to push back the angst. The worry of time and its loss.
I focus on the re-connection, the people. I focus on what I can do.
I focus on being present on this Sunday, with the coming week looming ahead. A tight rope walker. One step at a time, focused on the rope, aware of the ground far below.
It’s still Sunday.
In wild blossom spirit,
If you can relate, please share your stories, thoughts, comments. I’d love to hear them!
It’s hard to share the truth. Thank you so much for reading. I encourage you to express yourself!
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