I woke up drenched in sweat. Disoriented, with a looming feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I recalled my dream. I was trying to teach dance on a dramatically uneven floor. The floor was covered with huge, textured, white, woven mats strewn and piled on top of one another jumbled all over the place. I could barely balance to walk on them, let alone dance… especially tap!
I was trying to hold a rehearsal for our dance performance, and students were scattered everywhere.
The room seemed endless – no walls. All open space. Maybe I was outside? It seemed like there was a roof, but the room went on forever. Was it a house of mirrors with no end?
I couldn’t begin to get students’ attention. I tried to speak, and my voice fell into the woven mats. I couldn’t project my voice … the sounds literally dropped into the floor. I opened my mouth and nothing came out.
I couldn’t communicate. I couldn’t lead the students. It was chaos. I completely lost control of the rehearsal.
I woke up relieved.
Have you had one? A teacher-mare? A nightmare before the school year begins?
You may have had one, or many, scattered throughout early August right up until the first week of school.
After more than 25 years of teaching, I still have teacher-mares. You’d think something is wrong with me, continuing to have this pit in my stomach before the year begins.
I’ll never forget taking a workshop from one of my yoga teacher mentors, Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa, who was probably in her 60s at the time. At the end of the class, we sat and chatted with her. She casually told us that she gets nervous before teaching every single one of her yoga classes. She’s taught thousands of classes in her life!
My jaw must have dropped. I felt a sigh of relief. It resonated so deeply. I’d always thought something was wrong with me. Gurmukh said, “I get nervous before every class that I teach. It means that you care.”
It was as simple as that. Life changing.
As we begin our school year this week, on the west coast of North America, know that we’re feeling these nerves together.
It means that you care.
Here are a few simple tips that I use. Feel free to try them, as you feel your nerves begin to rise.
- 1-3 breaths any time during the day, as many times as you can remember. Notice the belly rise and chest open on the inhale. Imagine your ribs, and muscles surrounding your ribs, expand. Exhale, let the belly fall and and belly button presses in. You can count to 4 for both .
- Shake out your hands and jump on the balls of your feet.
- Relax your arms and swing them side to side as you twist.
To students and teachers everywhere, starting on their new adventures. To everyone starting a full September week. Sending you strength and hoping you rest at night.
In wild blossom spirit,
gillian xo
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